How about "aloneness"? I use that a lot in therapy. I know I'm lonely and would like people in my life, some close friendships with people I enjoy being with and who share interests.

But I also am more aware of my separateness. That I am separate, as we all are separate. I would still be separate even if surrounded by people I love. That is aloneness to me. And I think it is about becoming aware that of our self, that stands alone and is separate from others. Aloneness is being aware that I am me no matter where I am, who I am with, my social situation, my financial status, my achievements and losses. At the center is me. That can be powerful and calming as well as frightening, and I trust it will grow to be more of a good thing as I grow in therapy.

I also think there is something developmental about it. That we feel an aloneness that is about feeling small and inept and a powerless part of the world, as the very young can feel.

I hope you can know that your therapist understands and also knows that it is the process of therapy that helps us to find what that gaping hole is about.