This isn't the first time as I have had a violent and traumatic past.

What is freaking me out is that i thought i was over this and my T said it today and said it's because of my husband and him being so volatile.

We argue a lot. He yells at me and insults me. i'd have to say I'm in somewhat of a domestic violence situation in a mental kind of way.

He gets violent against objects.....he kicked the crap out of his motorcycle so badly it needed about 2 Thousand dollars worth of fixing...he broke a door in the house and threw stuff everywhere when he couldn't find something....his displays of violence bring me back to my violent past and i do fear that he won't be able to control his rage one day and hurt me.

I can't sleep, i keep thinking I'm seeing things and jumpy all the time....
I never thought i'd get into this kind of situation again.

Please don't tell me to leave - I know what I need to do - right now I just needed to share that i can't believe i'm having PTSD symptoms for like the 3rd time in my life, for the 3rd trauma....I thought I was finally smart enough to not be in a situation like this and i'm just stupid stupid stupid.