WePow, I wish I could do what you suggested, which is to do nothing, not think about T or my brother. I can do that when I am super busy, but before bed my mind goes there anyway. It is something to work on doing, a part of mindfulness, I think. Or compartmentalization, if that's the correct word. Men, I think are better at doing that.

geez, thank you for thinking of me and for posting.