Hey Jmall. Thank you for your response.

Although I am conservative, I didn't wait a year for religious reasons. (I consider myself to be a Christian in the sense that I worship Jesus as my savior, however I'll be honest here and say that I have followed the pick-and-choose route that most people take, and I chose to have sex before marriage.)

No, the reason why we didn't have sex for about a year was because I had a physical sex-related problem. It was called vaginismus and it is a rare condition that makes intercourse very painful, so much that penetration is not possible. It took me about a year of going to physical therapy sessions at my local women's health clinic in order for me to get past that barrier. One night I was finally able to overcome the pain and have sex. It made me so happy I cried.

All that said, I appreciate your response, but I feel a little insulted by the language you used. I really tried to make this work, and it is my continued belief that he will only be able to remedy his problems if he is away from me and unable to use me as a crutch.

I told him I'd support him, but I can't support his bad decisions in life. I can forgive him, but I can't support those decisions or encourage them. It would be like having a friend who is struggling with a drug addiction. You can either "support them" and continue to tell them that everything they do is okay and void of consequence, or you can try to correct them. Which person do you think would make a better friend; the one who stands by and says, "that's okay, keep doing drugs, I support you!" Or the one that says firmly, "You need to stop this before you really get hurt"???

I really do feel a burning infatuation for him (Not sure if it's love anymore, unfortunately) and feel sorry for him and his mom, so I had to leave - I couldn't hang around and say, "do whatever you want, I love you, you'll be fine." Because that wouldn't do him any good. And whenever I would try to correct his behavior, he'd get angry with me. So I stopped nagging him. I left.

This person has 30 years of subconscious programming inflicted upon him by his overindulging mother. He doesn't just love her; he has an oedipus complex, so-to-speak. It took me a while to realize this. Even when the three of us go out on dates (Yes, he always includes her on my dates with him) his feet are pointed towards his mother instead of me. I'm no expert in psychology but I'm pretty sure that's an odd occurance, as usually the man's feet tend to subconsiously point towards the female he is most interested in. And that female is his mom. He is not going to get over this unusual relationship with her anytime soon, but should he ever, I would most happily take him back.

He has burned so many people and not felt bad about any of it. He has never been truly serious about any of his girlfriends. He has blamed all of his problems on them. He wasn't even attracted to his last girlfriend, yet he let her take him out on expensive dates for over a year and never returned the favor. He had sex with her because "he did what he had to do." When she asked him to commit to her, he told her no. Yet he continued to let her take him out for fancy dinners, all while he was in debt. He's still in debt and even worse off than before. I guess he thought he was doing her a favor by sleeping with her and never truly committing? Does he feel he has done me a favor in that way? How terrible She, and I, and most people have only been able to tolerate him for so long mostly because he is very physically attractive. With him and I, the physical and emotional chemistry is indeed present, but it will never match his mother's. He has all he needs as long as she's around - which leaves me as less of a girlfriend and more of an accessory for him to sleep with. I was really excited to have sex in the beginning, but now that I see things as they really are, I feel cheap, dirty, and used. See where I am going with this? None of us mean anything to him. We just get caught in his web of guilt and we ended up feeling love for someone who is unable to accept that kind of emotional love from anyone other than his mother.

He also blames all his financial woes on everyone else. He owes people thousands of dollars but believes they don't deserve to have it. He always plays the victim but is never willing to see his own faults. See what I mean? He is selfish. He only lives for himself and his mom. Anyone else... is just a third wheel to keep their exclusive relationship running smoothly. He needs a lot of therapy... and I can't be both his therapist and his girlfriend. As long as I would continue having sex with him, why would he ever take me seriously? (Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?) It took me a while to build up my self-esteem and finally tell myself, "he doesn't really love me... he is only using me for sex." The real emotional relationship is between him and his mom. I'm just the girl he's had sex with every weekend!

That is just how I feel. Remember, I didn't want this to happen - I did it because I felt that I needed to. My heart is still broken from all I've endured of this. Don't get me wrong, because despite my complaints, I can see the good in people too. I can still see the good in him. He has had a very, very hard life and when he was my age he was as conservative as I was. But life is what you make of it... and he's allowed his hard life to be an excuse for him to have exhibited worse and worse behavior throughout the years. Who knows what he'll be like in another ten years. He needs to turn over a new leaf, and save himself from his own destruction.