This feeling comes and goes... but I have learned to block these thoughts as they were much more prominent before.

I would get so angry because people were just careless.
And when people do care, they only see what they can see and they have no intention of looking at whatever it is from a new perspective.

But since I have been meditating more and ignoring everything around me, I feel a little more apathetic and its pleasing.

Like my friend was slamming the cupboards and doors and screaming at his dog in the morning. He then was trying to tell me that I needed to get up early to walk the dogs. (Me and my roommate have our own dogs.)

I just went back to sleep and forgot it happened.
I've realized I have taken on this mentality where I tell myself "I won't even remember it in a year".

But its funny because even stupid stuff can grind my gears like simple discrimination in the workplace and stuff like that. Where if someone has a tattoo or piercing it immediately writes them off as a decent or fit person for a job.

I've come to believe the society we live in is just really f-d up.
Sometimes I want to write a book on it but then I think "the only books that really sell is Christian propaganda".

Its like Holden Caulfield in Catch in the Rye.
A brilliant kid in a f-d up world.

On the bright side...

Lately I have been concentrating on present moment of existing.
I have been able to appreciate my own existence.
So when I see people I just smile even if they look at me weird.
I've taken on this new light through just thinking.

I mean everyone was making a big deal about May 21st and now 2012 is coming up.
I really do hope something happens.
There is the thought of the age of enlightenment, which would make me really happy if everyone could just be enlightened.
Then there is, we are all going to die, which wouldn't hurt my feelings if we all died.

I just hope something happens that will make everything better.
For right now, I am just watching TV and waiting. =P