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Maybe someone in your childhood, like mine, took their anger/frustration out in violent ways..?...
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Childhood and teens was SA
It was my ex boyfriend - someone that to look at you'd never know he could possibly beat up people - that I was so embarassed to be a part of because i went back to him several times with my family knowing what he did- swore after getting out of the relationship that I would never get into something like that again....Now i'm with my husband, who I should have known better...he told me the night before our wedding i was imcompetent...and 2 nights later threw his ring at me.
But got very offended when I told him he reminded me of my ex.
I told him I live in fear of getting him upset.
And here I am,
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Do you have friends or family you can reach out to, in order to get more support and figure out what you want to do? Real time support is so important.
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only 3 friends know and 2 have offered me a place to stay - I have the code to her security and know where the key is - I have the keys to my other friend's place and can go there at any time.
T told me not to make any big decisions right now.
I just hate myself for feeling like this. I feel so weak. i considered myself a survivor and now i feel like I am a victim again.