Starting about 7-8 years ago I started experiencing a sleep disturbance known as Sleep Paralysis. For those that have never heard of it before, Sleep Paralysis is a malfunction of the body's REM atonia system which paralyzes your body during your sleep to prevent you from acting out your dreams and possibly injuring yourself or others. In the case of sleep paralysis, the disturbance occurs either when the sleeper is entering his/her REM sleep cycle or awakening from it. The atonia fails to release and the mind awakens to find itself trapped in a paralyzed body. The mind, still in a dreamlike state, hallucinates vividly. Other symptoms that I typically exhibit are auditory hallucinations (typically a very loud, distortion sound like someone screaming into a microphone) and a state of primal fear (my best description), this occasionally feels like an exhilarating adrenaline rush, but that might just be specific to me and my personal psychological issues.

In the past, I would experience these episodes rather infrequently, typically about once ever 6 months or so. Lately, however, these have been occurring multiple (2-4) times per week. They're beginning to take their toll as they are both mentally and physically exhausting, but at the same time they really make me feel alive;I've become somewhat addicted to them and have been actively attempting to trigger them purposefully. Anyone with personal experience or insight, I implore you to share them. Perhaps some use can come of it.

It just so happens I keep a sleep journal (a must for my own morbid curiosity), though I rarely forget the specifics. My last three episodes go as follows:

ep1:
I awaken. I'm viewing the room through partially closed eyes, my eyelashes dimming the light coming in through the living room window. (I sleep during the day.) It's very quiet, one of my cats is curled up on the bed next to me. I'm staring lazily through the doorway into the living room, and through the kitchen doorway beyond. A white humanoid figure enters the doorway from the kitchen. I'm alert. That's not my fiance. She's at work. My mind is racing, "GET UP. STAND UP. LIGHT SWITCH. STAND UP. PROTECT YOURSELF." The figure blinks from the kitchen doorway, through the living room, and appears in the bedroom doorway. My heart is racing, I'm hyperventilating. I can't move; can't even open my eyes wider. The figure is standing next to me, I can't see it. Him. I can't see him. He's right next to my head, suddenly a deafening sound explodes in my left ear. A metallic, robotic, 'BWAHN' sound, static and distorted. I fall asleep. I awaken. De ja vu. The figure appears, the figure moves, I can't move, the sound. This happens 4 times before I finally manage to gain control of my body and fully awaken.

ep2:
I awaken. I'm sleeping on the couch. I'm looking around the living room absently, i realize I can't move my body. This is becoming familiar, I know what is happening. There's a small girl standing in the corner behind the front door. Panic. Protect yourself. Kill her. She's featureless, she wears a long dull-gray dress with a large, flat collar. 40's era clothing, it strikes me as a Navy uniform for some reason. Her head is shaking violently. I watch her for what seems like 15-20 minutes, my heart racing and breathing rapid and shallow. I awaken fully and sit upright in a gasp.

ep3:
I'm at the beach house rented by my fiance's family, sleeping on the couch in the sun room. My fiance and her sister are sleeping on daybeds, one above me and one at my feet. I awaken. I'm staring down the hallway, through the sliding glass door, through the kitchen, through the other door, and into the adjacent sun room. I can't move. My heart is beating rapidly, my breath quick and shallow. I'm trying to wake my fiance. I can't vocalize. I try again and again to no avail. A white figure appears coming out of one of the bedrooms connected to the far sun room. It's a man, I think it is 'Jason', my fiance's aunt's boyfriend. He walks towards the kitchen and phases right through the glass door. It's not 'Jason'. Panic, danger. Wake up. Wake someone else up. Say something. He phases through the door into our room. Featureless, white humanoid. The sound. He hates me. He's gone. I lay here, motionless, gasping, trying to vocalize for what I would estimate to be about 45 minutes. I finally am able to make a whimpering sound and my fiance wakes up and runs over to me, shaking me to full consciousness. I slept for less than 2 hours, I don't go back to sleep.

3-4 times per week, every week for the past 3 months. I truly might be going insane.