Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
T and I talked recently about how I've been feeling disconnected from everyone - including myself. I think for me, it's a defense mechanism. I have big feelings I'm trying to avoid, and when I try to avoid those, EVERYTHING, including connection with other people, goes with it. I stay really busy doing things like painting rooms, etc and it's so easy to disconnect.
I really am able to hold onto the connection with T lately, though. It is safe to feel with him, so I don't have to disconnect while I'm there, and I know he cares about me, and I try to take that with me (along with as many items I can get from his desk! lol) when I leave. It took a LONG time to be able to hold onto that connection.
Why do you think you are disconnecting?
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Tree- It is great to hear that you are connecting with T and able to hold that connection. I hadn't thought of the disconnecting w/ people possibly being related to my disconnecting from my feelings. I will have to think about that. I definitely think the disconnecting is a defense mechanism. A way to try and protect myself so I don't get hurt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jexa
Yeah I am very disconnected from people. In my case I am terrified of getting close for fear of being hurt or shamed.
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I definitely feel this way about getting connected to people. And I think it is why I disconnect from people when they aren't around. But I'm not sure why I disconnect from my T between sessions. It's like every time I go in to see her it is the first time again and I'm nervous and I have to work on trusting her again to be able to get any work done.
Swimmer and Dino- Thanks for your replies. It is nice to know I'm not the only one who experiences this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah
Maybe you feel disconnected because you are still keeping yourself very far away so you aren't really connected??
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The thing is that when we get into the middle of session and then until the end I feel connected. But then when I put all my feelings that have been stirred up during session, it is like I put that connection away too. And the thing is that it feels different than when I'm in session and I pull away from the connection because something has triggered me. It is like completely cutting it off. But at the same time sometimes between sessions I want to feel connected and I'll have an urge to call just to be able to say 'hi' to her voice mail, like to make sure she is still there.
It is all so confusing. It makes me feel so totally screwed up. Like why can't I do this thing that other people do? It seems worse with T than with others, but maybe that is because the connection with my T is different than my connection with others. I don't know.