Well, I am sure some recall me, some might not. I began an affair with my former T after our therapy ended, he separated from his wife, attempted to make the split real but wavered and out of guilt went back.

For one YEAR he cut off all contact and came clean to his spouse reg who I was, our interaction, all of it.

I nearly died that year - my heart was very entrenched in him, the bond, the connection and the hope of what everyone on this board seems to feel at some point or another - hope for a life with the person that is / was their T.

I suffered tremendously the last year, always thinking of him on a daily basis, sometimes emailing despite no reply, wondering how I could have been left in the worst way.

Around Jan of this year due to financial / economy issues we were facing foreclosure and with 2 small kids I was panicked - your pride tends to go out the window and you email anyone and everyone you know for help.

I matter of factly sent him an email as I know what he is worth (wealthy as anything) and said that I hope he understood that I had to look under every rock and ask.

He replied, quickly, and I think my heart stopped seeing that email in the Inbox. We met that night where he handed over cash in the amount I needed and in large part helped to stave off losing my house.

Between Jan and May'ish, our contact increased to emails, meeting maybe briefly once a week, calls and eventually it became clear how much turmoil he had been living in attempting to "fix" a marriage that never worked on his end.

So fast forward to now - he moved out again, this time with many differences like giving me the key to his place and right now we are in the midst of either moving me and the kids out to our own place with his help or buying my house for me and the kids and begin formal divorce proceedings.

I say this not to brag or tell anyone on here that this path is the one to follow, rather, a warning, a caution - there are many details I could get into telling you all why this does not fit the cookie cutter definition of something unethical, the dynamic between us, our own individual situations and what pulled us to the other - the warning is simple - had he been like 99% of T's who cross that line, separated, seemed like we would be together, went back, he would have been the kind to never return.

My journey in trying to build a real life with him is arduous at best - MANY obstacles and caution are in place, many steps to take, legal issues to wade through and most of all, the heartache I endured, and I mean felt 24/7 for a year when he went back, of him leaving me wondering how I could have been so wrong.

Crossing this line is not advised - and yet, I do think in rare circumstances some success can be achieved but all of you need to be aware of the very real realities if you choose to do it and stick it out.

I have to endure waiting, getting things in place, physically making a separation legal, deal with my lingering doubts since I was very hurt and discarded a year ago.

Today is different and again, many things I could say to sway you all but I do not want it all picked apart - I am a grown woman who this 2nd time around is very aware of uncertainty, sometimes feeling overly cautious, afraid to be 100% into the relationship for fear he returns again.

But the one thing that has been accomplished is the shift from former patient with him in a position of "power" to that of my equal / partner / lover. It took alot of time and strangeness to get there. I do not recommend this path for those with rose colored glasses that if you only had your fantasy fulfilled this wonderful life unfolds for you - this is not what happens and many times the issues and hang ups the T's have far outweigh the issues that we as patients have when we go to see them - you'd be very surprised.

My path / life is very up in the air right now - lots of transition, butterflies in the stomach, no routine and trying to settle into some semblance of normal with this man.

I am sure many on here will immediately judge and say how horrible he is and that is ok b/c none of you know him like I do or all the in's and out's we have and continue to go thru.

I read the posts on here and so many of them bring me back to the time of my "puppy love" and foolish fantasy of how simple it would be to cross the line and "have" him - it is far from that.

This path is not for the faint hearted at all - nor do I endorse it - it is simply my choosing, right, wrong or indifferent in following my heart coupled with logic and tangible steps to be with someone that I have never been so connected to in all my life.

It may surprise you all to know that today, I have this odd upper hand with him - he wonders at my way of thinking, my outlook on life as many T's are caught in a detached routine and have no clue how to really live.

I could say more but hope this "warning" is read, respected and no harshly judged in a forum that says it is here to support all opinions.

I am of course always here to talk thru posts or thru private messages for anyone wanting to know more of my journey.