Thank you for your thoughts. My support groups have been a joke. I thought my situation was minor until I went to a group and it was just a bunch of moms complaining about how tired and busy they were. My situation actually became dangerous to the point that people stay with me out of fear that I might hurt my daughter or myself. When she cries it is like a serial killer temper comes out of me. Some days I love her and can't think of life without her. Other days I just want her to disapear, or that I should leave because it would be better for her. Sometimes she doesn't even have to do anything but look at me. I have many supports with family, doctors and therapists and nothing is helping. I have such bad panic attacks that I hyperventalate and have passed out. It has gotten to the point that I am terrified to have any more children incase they make me literally more crazy. The guessing games just adds more stress because I feel horrible and nobody can tell me what is wrong.