You are awesome, tree! Way to reach out to your friends!

You are being super duper hard on yourself. Sometimes there aren't pretty solutions, in anyone's life (T too) and this sounds like one of those situations where the only thing is trying to breathe and practice self-care and watch how it all plays out.

I can't remember where you said this to me, but I remember in one of my posts you told me something like emotions are hard enough by themselves, and judging them just adds more yuck on TOP of that rather than making the emotion go away. It sounds like you feel overwhelmed and lonely but then judging that fact -- the fact that you have these feelings -- just adds more to the pile, not less.

Feeling overwhelmed doesn't mean you're not translating lessons from therapy into real life, you know.. you ARE translating those lessons -- you reached out here, you reached out to friends, you are looking at the possibilities for where the emotion originated, you are aware of how you are feeling.. you are doing good.