Thanks

Yeah it was really hard. I'm still hurting from it. We had the same interests and would go to the same events every weekend. He would always come along with me and my friends, and even my mom (although my mom has always stayed out of the way in our relationship and usually leaves us alone so that we're don't feel intruded on). Now my friends and family are asking me to continue coming with them on weekends, and I don't want to because I don't want to see my ex there.

He said he'll attend whenever he feels like because I "don't own that domain." If that's the case then I just won't go out anymore... I don't want to bump into him. My mom wants me to keep coming to events and since I've told her no, she's telling me I'm ruining this for her and all my friends now. (See my old threads about having problems with my mom if you'd like more insight on my relationship with her)

How can I make this grieving process easier for me??? Summer is here and for some reason I feel freezing cold all the time now, like I'm about to get very sick. I'm having a hard time eating and sleeping... When I went to sleep last night and the night before I could feel my heart beating extremely fast, all throughout my body, with very bad churning in my stomach. I would try getting up and eating some crackers and yogurt but I still couldn't sleep. I've been up for two days straight now without sleep. Whenever I eat a normal sized meal I vomit it up! So I'm just grazing on food. What is happening to me? Is this anxiety? Or something else?

I feel so terrible... I have to keep reminding myself, that I had to do this sooner or later. Better now than years from now. I don't think I'd be able to take it.