Hey googley, I was just thinking. Maybe you feel connected to your T in session, but since you don't trust people in your everyday life, leaving that window of connection to T open makes you feel vulnerable outside of T, and it's too much, so you shut it down.

It's like you are a house. Maybe you let some of your friends into your house. They can walk around and use some of your things and sit on your couch and all of that. And maybe you only invite them over when the house is clean. And then maybe there are some people who can see you a little messier, who can come in your bedroom and stuff. But there is a closet that you keep locked all the time, triple-padlocked. And you need to keep it locked, too, because there is so much stuffed inside that closet that the door is practically bursting. And NONE of your friends see inside the closet. But T gets to unlock the locks and take a little out at a time.

And you just NEVER show that closet to your friends.

So you shut the door and you lock it tight as soon as you are in your "real world," because T is the only one you are ready to trust. But then locking that door means that T has to unlock the SAME locks all over again the next time you see her.

Does this fit? I could be totally off.