AND I realized today that my phone has been shut off. I am behind on all of my bills mostly due to lack of concentration, haven't been able to sit and do it.

I made a payment to the phone company on line today so the phone hopefully will be back on in a few days. I can't call the mortgage company so I sent them an email, I hope i am not too late to do something about this.

It is like a rope slipping faster and faster through my fingers as everything falls away and i can't grasp it without getting rope burn.

on one of the community message boards i belong to they are all advicey but assure me that no matter what happens i still have friends. these are the same "friends" who won't return my phone calls or emails or visit when they promise. I've been alone here for months now with very little contact with anyone. if i had been relying on their "friendship" i'd be long gone by now. so having them reassure me that they are my friends is pretty meaningless.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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