Not trying to pry, but cats, it sounds like you have been abused in the past and may have minimized it as not "really" abuse, or that it isn't "that bad". I have to say, how she treats you and what she says to you ARE abusive,even if you don't see it that way. I spent a lot of time in the past when I stayed with toxic, negative, abusive people and felt they were treating me fine. Because I had been abused in the past, I minimized it or just plain ignored it. I felt that they terrible way I was being treated just was due to me being so bad and worthless. I didn't think it was abuse, until my current boyfriend of the time went outside during an argument to get his guns from the car to kill me and my brother. It was still abuse whether or not I thought it was.

Now, I am not saying that your pdoc would ever get physically violent with you, but verbal violence is just as bad imho.
Please know, I say this out of compassion and concern for you. I may be totally off base, but it just sounded so familiar to me. I had to speak up. Sending you