Up again, amazed reading this how astute you all are and knowing what I need. Thanks. I am so exhausted. I think I have laid it out pretty well. I do understand about memories being different. I get it that sibs do what they can to survive. My Nanny was my friend. The mother hated her. She acted like such a victim when Nanny died and she wasn't even there. No one even sat with her. Had I known. Open sores, maybe have become a little absessed and need to be drained. To top it all of my back is killing me and I really do not want to take narcotics as I am already so tired and have to drive an hour to teach a class tomorrow. Class is fun.