I hear your frustration and your sense of feeling helpless but stay calm and dont allow your emotions to get the best of you. There are many public resources out there that can help mothers to get back on their feet and it can be a long process but you'll need to work through it all. The many years that you've spent with him may have been horrible but I bet its something you've been comfortable with also. You're going to need to break out of that shell and be brave to do something new and different. While you're still with him you can start making a plan such as picking up a part time job so that you know you will have a steady income once you leave. You can find out if you will be approve for public assistance. Once all thats in play then find out about getting a divorce and the process with child support. So its not as hopeless as you're feeling right now. You need to stay calm and think things through if leaving is what you really want. Be courageous and get yourself and your children out of there.