Really... I am doing the right thing and what I'm feeling is reasonable thing? I guess thats what I needed to hear the most is the reassurance that i'm not going crazy with the many self doubts and not sure what so do with myself. with all this new realization about myself I feel overwhelmed and not sure what to do with myself afterwards. My bf already sense that I'm not acting like myself bc he would typically expect me to accuse him of lying and to see me so angry but instead I didn't say much, not that I'm ignoring him, the situation or myself. I rather step back and let things sink in and reflect on them so that maybe I can figure out whats the best thing to do. ahh.... its all so complicated