i think when problems arise it's always going to a mixture of all - feeling out of control, loosing trust, and feeling self-doubt. if you are with someone that is constantly making you feel emotionally maxed out, that's not normal and that's not right. but stepping back before blowing up is wise. it's hard. be strong. if he messes up - then he messes up. breakups are difficult, but you will move on. peoples, places, things they are ephemeral ...that is life.