(((((((Tina)))))))

Before therapy, I honestly (HONESTLY) didn't even understand that I *had* needs. I started to be aware in therapy that I do have needs, and it scared me and embarrassed me and horrified me and confused me.

Learning to identify my needs and ask to have them met has been a slow, slow, slow, SLOW learning process (it's still hard), but so worth it. Telling T that you need extra support is such a wise and good first step.

And I get the feeling of embarrassment/shame leading to the desire to SI. I haven't used that "coping skill" in a long time, but for a while it was such a "good" way to ground myself, and such a "good" way to punish myself.

You don't deserve punishment. Everyone panics sometimes, and everyone is embarrassed sometimes (even T!). You are okay just how you are. Really.