My T kept telling me that things I had experienced were Abuse. I didn't like to hear that because when I hear "Abuse" I think that means the person who experienced it was a victim, and I am not a victim. I do not identify with "victim" at all! My T would not back down from using the word Abuse as he said he didn't want to minimize what I had gone through. So we had to work for a while on getting me to realize that just because I may have experienced Abuse, I am not a Victim. Those two words don't necessarily travel together. I was eventually able to recognize the Abuse in my past, but I have never used or thought the word Victim as describing myself. I don't use Survivor either. Instead, I think things like "I am strong."

If this is a stumbling block for you, perhaps you can work to change your understanding? It is strange the things we have to learn to do in therapy and the words that can hang us up.

You asked if when you do trauma work, you would revisit feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and emptiness. I don't know. Are you worried you will feel those things (again?) and not be able to handle it? Have you discussed your worries with your T? Often, people have to work on developing good coping skills in therapy, before they do the trauma work. Maybe you can ask T if she thinks you can handle the trauma work now, and if not, what you can work on to prepare.

Good luck!