Zoo, I feel for you as you struggle with your T relationship. I have a high degree of contact with my T in between sessions too through text, emails, or phone calls. While this outside communication has been very helpful for me, it also has allowed me to lash out in anger at my T, get disappointed when she's too busy to respond, or misunderstand her meaning.

Right now, so much is going on with your T relationship, in addition to the stressors within your life. I know that you do phone coaching with your T, but perhaps for a little while, you could, as some have suggested, not contact her between sessions until you guys have figured things out whether it be to continue or to discontinue. The phone contact seems right now to be a breeding ground for misunderstanding, heartache, and stress for the both of you and it spills into your sessions. If you temporarily limit your contact to your sessions, you guys, I think, could more easily work through things and avoid the misunderstandings. Also, perhaps the hurting feelings would not linger within you as much between the sessions, as I would imagine contacting and waiting for responses perpetuate these negative feelings.

Good luck and wish you well!