I typed out a long message and then "poof"....into cyberspace it went...GRRR.

(((( zoo ))))

I know that you're going through an incredibly difficult time, and I imagine that your feelings go from one extreme to the other....and that's so understandable....I'm glad that you're still on track to work towards finding a T that can meet your therapeutic needs AND that you are working to find closure with your existing T. Both of those things are valuable goals.

As far as Tay's comments go.....taking the judgment and harshness out of it....I can understand how it could be possible to wonder whether or not there was some kind of subconscious underlying motive for sending that email to T. And only you can take in that feedback and see whether or not it fits. If it doesn't, great! If it does, great! All in the name of awareness. I know that there have been times when I've tried finding a reason to contact T when all I really wanted was to read a few reassuring words from him, or just so that we could make some kind of connection. So, for me, the underlying message in Tay's post would be something for me to really consider.