Thankyou all for your replies, they mean a lot to me.

Jexa - I've used the alien explanation myself too, although if I over think it I start getting paranoid! You're absolutely right, I think it does feel as though she's brushing it aside but yeh she likely is trying to offer me some hope. She definately cares, she says 'i hold you in mind' but i've no real concept of what that is like....I get what she is saying intellectually but not emotionally. I will try saying what you suggested, thank you so much.

Lastyearisblank - I am not especially talented at anything, and I've never been the creative type. I do think that if I lost my fears of what I drew being graded like at school then it'd be something that would help. I bought a pad of paper and basic crayons the other day just in case. Thank you for saying 'loneliness is the pain of not being understood' - I think this makes a lot of sense and resonates with me.

WePow - Self-acceptance feels impossible. I am not a big fan of me. May be therapy can help that with time.

Dizgirl2011 - good suggestion of what to say, thank you. I think that is a good way to address how I feel and by incorporating what she always says, hopefully I'll get a new reply!

Elliemay - Thank you for your ideas. I think my therapist does get how I feel on one level but not the horrific extent of it. It is really interesting what you say about walking alone vs walking together because that is an analogy that my therapist uses too. She says she's walking beside me but it really doesn't feel that way at times, mainly because she leaves and I can't imagine her being there when she's not! The suggestions of changes you had that got you from feeling alone to not so alone are likely pretty key. They are all issues for me that I'm working on. Slowly I'm coming around to the idea that my therapist is really consistant in what she says and does, that makes me feel safe. May be the next step is holding onto that.... I love that once one person walks with you a dozen others turn up...that would be my heaven!