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Originally Posted by zooropa
It is probably really easy to sit here and read the threads and play pretend therapist, analyzing every word and pointing out any perceived inconsistencies.
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Umm, I have been pointing out ACTUAL inconsistencies in order to help you do this:
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I post here because I am trying to figure out why I do what I do, and how to make my life better.
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which is what you asked for in the title of your thread "help me figure this out"
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Originally Posted by zooropa
I don't know what you get out of that,
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I get to be verbally slapped in the face by you.
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Originally Posted by zooropa
And in the process I open myself up to attacks like yours,
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I haven't attacked you at all.
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Originally Posted by zooropa
It is probably really easy to sit here and read the threads and play pretend therapist, analyzing every word and pointing out any perceived inconsistencies. I don't know what you get out of that, but it sure as fukk isn't as hard as coming here and being open and vulnerable about your emotions and your actions. I post here because I am trying to figure out why I do what I do, and how to make my life better. I could just lurk and read and criticize, but I don't. I put myself out there. And in the process I open myself up to attacks like yours, but that doesn't mean I have to take your words to heart. I doesn't even mean I have to read them.
You have given me good feedback in the past and I have appreciated your ability to show me another way to look at things. This is not that kind of constructive criticism, however. This is abuse, and the insights I may glean from some of your posts are not enough to make it worth it. I wish you luck, Tay. I hope someday you work as hard in therapy as I do.
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Okay zoo, you can paint me black. If you weren't so wrapped up in you, you would know a little bit about my story and how hard I have worked in therapy. I have been where you are, in the throes of borderline thinking and behavior and have come out the other side. I lost my first therapist due to the same kinds of behaviors that you post about all the time between you and your therapist. I have admitted to manipulation more than a few times. I have worked very hard to change my behaviors and build a life worth living. I've been supportive of you all this time, but you just forget all that because you dont like my directness and interpret it as harshness. This sounds exactly like what you do with your T. Yeah, I don't post in distress and pour out my pain like you do all the time because I'm not in that place anymore. But you can stay in victim mode as long as you want if that's what works for you.