I'm sad, but not depressed really.
I'm kind of manic I guesss - agitated.....when I'm with my friends I am definitely speed talking, over excited.

Still not sleeping much after 6 weeks off of Seroquel - i have tried multiple things - went back to Ambien last night - I don't have the sick tired feeling anymore - I think my body is just used to sleeping less.

Long talk with my Husband Monday where i can't get him to talk about his feelings with me - when I told him i thought about leaving him sometimes he said if that would make me happy then maybe it would be better. He is so shut off emotionally - he will not go to any kind of T or couples counselling.
i'm crying all the time, at the drop of the hat.
T on Thursday where she told me I seem like I am showing signs of PTSD because of my husband's controlling behavior bringing up the past domestic violence.......i am overstressed because of this....My working part time from home which i love is not generating enough income for me in case i have to leave my husband, who is the cause of the PTSD, so now i'm looking for full time work, still at home, so i have more money.

the weird thing is when I'm with my friends...if they ask me something serious, I can go from almost tears....tell them "i can't talk about that" because I know I will get too upset and lose it....and then go back to super happy....i feel like I'm acting in a play. and when i'm working, I'm a rockstar. probably the only time I'm truly happy. i credit my parents with giving me this work ethic which sometimes gives me the only will to live that i have.