Greenfairy~
I am ok now.. doing rather good really. I wasnt in the best of shape Sunday night. And I told myself if I didnt feel better on Monday I would go to the hospital( anyone that knows me knows that that is the LAST THING I would ever admit to wanting to do!) I had some really good friends to lean on and help me thru this. To help me make sense of what was going on. And in the midst of that I figured another thing out. Monday came and I felt better for having talked about it. And the thing I figured out was that the whole thing that happend made me feel overwhelmed to the point of possible having a nervous breakdown. That lead to me being able to dicifer between feeling overwhelmed and having suicidal ideations. And the difference is that I know that when I am overwhelmed I can control that.. and what I can do about it! I have been so excited and happy about this! The big thing now is knowing when I need to implement it..realizing what is what again when I am feeling it.But its a great thing to have made this discovery for myself.

Right now with things being good and knowing what I have control of .. I have no intentions of leaving. But I can never promise that it wont happen.. I will do what I have to to take care of myself and protect myself. But I would never do it cause I want to leave you guys. I FEEL THE LOVE HERE! hehehehe And I'd miss ya'll so much!

Thanks for the hugz~and healing too ! Ditto to you too!

Hugz~
Bethy