What the hey is honesty anyway? I can't tell you how many times I've had to answer, "I don't know" when T asks me what I'm feeling or why I'm feeling this way.

I think it's o.k. to grope and then still feel lost. At least THAT'S honest. Last session, T asked me a question and I went inside myself looking for the answer. I couldn't talk for a few moments because I was deeply lost in the hunt. T is great in that she stays quiet while I'm in that space. But, even though I searched, I still could not find the answer.

It was all feelings - and no words to describe them. T commented that I had 'shrunk' and asked what age I was. I said I don't know. She said I became a child in those moments of my silent seeking.

So, I don't think presenting ourselves any particular way is important. Having the 'right' words or the 'right' actions is not important. I think just being open and risking being vulnerable and accepting that there may not be a convenient answer is the 'answer'.

Therapy is not the same as attending classes, taking tests, and hoping that we'll pass with flying colors. Therapy is a deep digging without really knowing exactly for what we're digging.

Just be open...