In the past you were hurt, and the painful emotions around those scars may keep you feeling powerless now. There are certain words that set me off, as well. Maybe it's not a good idea to think of your responses/behaviors/feelings in such a way that has you judging yourself. I think the key to moving forward may be fully acknowledging what happened in your past while finding new methods of coping, behaving, and feeling during times of vulnerability in the present. So when you feel yourself sinking, there are steps you can take to practice self-care. I think we all have moments of feeling frightened and overwhelmed even as adults. It's okay to accept our vulnerabilities as human beings. It's okay to accept comfort from others. But know that you can comfort and care for yourself, too. In time, I hope you will learn to be compassionate, kind, and patient with all parts of yourself....the vulnerable parts...and the needy parts. I don't see it as victim #%&*...I see it as being human and processing your emotions along the journey. Take care.