But sometimes when we focus on ourselves too much it becomes counterproductive, especially after being in therapy for several years. My T didn't push me to help others early in our relationship while I needed to focus on myself and while my kids were still young but now, 10 years later, he is pushing me to be somewhat less focused on my own issues and more focused on ways that I can be "needed" by others. It is definitely possible to become too self-absorbed after several years of therapy and that can make it difficult to form healthy relationships because we become accustomed to the one-sided therapeutic relationship where the attention is primarily on us.