Its ok Mike you did fine on this one, LOL. It takes time to learn what can and cannot be said and lets face it some of us need to vent and there could actually be a trigger warning on this thread. Some of the things that others think I don't know, I do know, however I try to be encompassing without getting too direct as I know this site covers a lot of different people with different beliefs.

This thread too is somewhat hard because not all women are easily able to choose to
cheat and they face extreme penalties if they do.

I did get light hearted but did not want others to think that I felt that it was a subject to laugh at or that I truely feel what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

I actually view cheating as a lie and can be considered as a charector flaw. But there are many variables to consider. I have seen affairs take place because the woman was very unhappily married and only kept the marriage together for the children. And they keep up the front very well and then the shock comes when the children get old enough and the marriage disolves.

But when I walked down that isle and made a promise I didn't take that lightly. But I did have my boundaries and I did state them. I know I put up with more than most women do. And I had a heavy weight of deep decisions that was put forth in my marriage. I also had a child and gave extreme consideration to that child. And it wasn't easy as they do learn what ever way one chooses. Oh, boy did I have a challenge, it was very hard.

My husband was unfaithful and he made a choice to stay with me and I had no idea of that choice. He also made a choice to be unfaithful and in that choice he infected our healthy relationship. He infected it with guilt and when someone is guilty they often treat the innocent person unfavorably. I was often so confused as my husband was moody and vague and confused me. And I knew that he did not lack of love and sexual affection. I know he was surpised that I married him I had other men that were very interested and perhaps he got a big head and wanted to see what else he could get, who knows.

The truth almost always comes out and no matter how long it takes it can very painful. The only way a relationship can hope to be good again is if all truth is laid out and both parties work towards trying to build trust again. And it is very hard.

I could have cheated, and I was angry enough to do it for spite, only I knew that two wrongs don't make a right. And I can't say one forgets because whenever my huband and I argue, I have terrible night mares often for days. It probably has something to do with that PTSD thing, who knows, all I know is that it is just not an easy road. And I knew both women and sang at one of the women's wedding. And I was very disgusted with her because she knew that I had a happy little family and that I loved my husband.

One of the things that I never got to do is express my extreme anger at both these women to their faces. And I was extremely concerned about STD's as both women were very experienced one could say. One of them was divorced with two small boys. So in my opinion I guess she thought is was ok to ruin another family.

But the one thing I did think about is that family is important too, very important. And for a long time now we have lived with a very high divorce rate. We have been in a throw away society, I am not necessarily talking about all countries, I know there are different traditions. I thought about what we do teach our children, when things get challenging leave, well, you cant always teach children that because a long term marriage takes work. And it is about commitment. But if a marriage involves any real abuse, then it is important to teach the child not to accept that.
So, in my case, I had to really think, it was not an easy decision. But children also have to learn what commitment is and they do deserve to feel that whatever happens mommy and daddy will do the right thing and consider the child, often that is not the case sadly. And I don't care if the man cheats or the woman cheats, you both cheat on that child or children too. What are they supposed to learn from that, its ok to lie and cheat right?

I stayed faithful, 31 years now and it wasn't easy and I do have scars. You can forgive someone, but you can't erase the scars.

So in my opinion, if you cannot hold commitment, don't get married and don't have children. If you want to run around and lie, just for the sake of sideline pleasure or to see if you can be desirable to someone else, don't get married and have children.

I had lots of opportunities to be unfaithful. I chose not to be unfaithful and I did honor my commitment. It is a big commitment, not just a ring or a wedding dress and a tux with a vaction called the honeymoon.

That is my opinion

Open Eyes