After months of thinking about breaking up with my bf, he broke up with me! Things were going really well, I dropped the other guy and focused solely on my bf. That wasn't enough. He found out I had an interest in someone else for a while. He said I had cheated on him, I had not. Well, it's over.

It's what I wanted to begin with, right? So why do I feel so awful? I am depressed, almost suicidal, and my self-esteem is rock bottom, my confidence is rock bottom...I guess everything is rock bottom.

I cut too.

He won't try to work it out with me. No couples therapy, no nothing. He is leaving me. My biggest fear...for someone to leave me. He won't even talk to me at all.

I guess I had this one coming and I deserve it. I begged and pleaded with him. That didn't work. I tried everything to get him to give me another chance. It's a no go.

I found myself thinking like my ex gf. I wanted him to stab me repeatedly. I know I'm probably overreacting and that this isn't the end, but it's like the icing on the cake for me right now.