Hello again June,
The Commitment to Accept concept that I was talking about in relation to your example below would be - You would 'commit to accept' the fact that you were involved in the incident in the first place.
The reality in this scenario for you is: you have some bruises, your shopping is broken, you have feelings of anger/rage/humiliation/ retaliation/etc. Sometimes, and for some people, (and after reading your profile I am going to go out on a limb and assume that you may have an idea of what I mean,) its hard to
believe the incident itself happened and therefore its hard to
accept, so then it is hard to acknowledge the bruises, to clean up the broken shopping or buy replacements, to deal with the feelings that seemingly have no basis. The understanding of what happened, to know that you were knocked carelessly by those neighbours who then laughed at you and left you hurt and needing is too big and painful to handle.
Commitmnet to accept is, you look at the reality, you have the proof that something happened (bruises/broken shopping), so you start working on thinking that, "ok, perhaps/maybe this IS my reality - I have these bruises, I have broken shopping, I can't think about how this happened right now, but I will begin by working on these things first. I accept now that I have these bruises so I will now find a cream to soothe them, and I accept now that my shopping is destroyed so now I will work out whether I want to replace them or not."
Is that helpful at all?? I've read it over and over, and I've tried to rewrite it, but it kind of came out the same. Please ask further questions if not comprehending and I'll try a different angle.
kp
Quote:
Originally Posted by June_Bug
I'm still muddling through this concept. Let me give you a fore instance and perhaps you can help me understand through an actual event.
I'm walking up the stairs to my apartment. I have alot of groceries in my hands. I'm more than half way up the stairs when two of my neighbors decide to come down at the same time I was going up. They both bumped into me knocking the groceries out of my hands and ran the rest of the way down the stairs laughing. Of course my groceries fell thru the stairs and eggs broke, bottles shattered, etc. I was seething while I was cleaning up my groceries.
The reality of the moment shifted and changed two days later, I was no longer seething. When I accepted the reality as real and true, I retaliated. What was real and true in the moment wasn't two days later. Accepting the reality as real and true caused an action urge. I did something stupid on impulse after they had driven away, but fortunately, as my perception of reality changed when I cooled down, I was able to correct what I did. I was judging my neighbors harshly because I was accepting the reality as real and true in the moment.
Please help me understand how to work the Commitment to Accept,how it would apply to this situation and about accepting the reality as real and true.
Thanks for your help and understanding kp 
Sorry, didn't mean to hijack this thread Karrin. Hoping you are okay today, been thinking of you ((( hugs ))) if okay !! |