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Old Jun 27, 2011, 11:19 AM
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skysblue skysblue is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 2,885
Quote:
Originally Posted by lastyearisblank View Post
Thank you all, I want to respond to these individually. I figured out what is bugging me and it is that my T assumes that the clashes between our personalities are all my fault and that other people see that as a bad thing in me. Very few people see me as a "bad girl." I have worked all my life to be in the top whatever percentile... in fact, I want to do the same thing in treatment!! But it is going to be so hard because now that I've pissed my T off everything is going to be about that. I feel like she wants to see me SUFFER for my sins now. And she keeps bringing up that "if I feel that way maybe everyone else does too?" But does everyone else feel that I am mean and difficult? I'm not sure??????????????????????

P.S. The authenticity stuff is a real issue. She could be a perfect T and I would still have that exact problem.
Is it possible that you can't get 'authentic' because you don't trust your T completely even though you like her? I mean, if someone tells me everything is my fault, I will not be inclined to expose myself and risk more pain.

I have an opposite situation. I struggle with what my T calls my 'inner critic' and she works to help me see the good in myself. I believe I should suffer and she says I don't need to.