yeah I think so too, and that is why I told him the flirting was wrong and should stop. I think unless he is out of his marriage he definately needs to work on those marriage issues. I suggested he try marriage counseling but he said he didnt want to. At any rate your correct, his focus should be on his wifes grief. So I dont understand why everything is falling on my shoulders to comfort all his pain, shouldn't he and is wife turn to each other?