Dear June,
Yes, it sounds like you are grasping this concept. You are accepting the reality of what happened, and are taking appropriate immediate action for your self. You have surpassed the 'commitment to accept' phase, and are in 'acceptance' phase because you fully acknowledge that the incident with your neighbours did occur and know the circumstances of the event (although not all this memory is needed to 'accept' a situation). Another area called 'radical acceptance' may be of help to you now in dealing with the overwhelming feelings you are having in relation to it.
Radical Acceptance
Freedom from suffering requires ACCEPTANCE from deep within of what is. Let yourself go completely with what is. Let go of fighting reality.
ACCEPTANCE is the only way out of hell.
Pain creates suffering only when you refuse to ACCEPT the pain.
Deciding to tolerate the moment is ACCEPTANCE.
ACCEPTANCE is acknowledging what is.
To ACCEPT something is not the same as judging it good.
Perhaps, in this example, Radical Acceptance could be applied in accepting that you had a humiliating experience where you were left hurting and needing, and there was nothing you could do about it then and nothing you can do about it now, that retaliation and thoughts of such will only keep you stuck in a cycle of pain and recurrent negative emotions ie suffering.
June, I need to point out here that I am
not a therapist. I am purely using the example you gave me to illustrate a very minute part of the DBT therapy that I have found to personally help me. The information Turning The Mind and Radical Acceptance are from the book titled
Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha Linehan. NB this therapy is not just for treating BPD. However, I am happy to continue to discuss and share any of this here in this thread, or via PM, if you find it helpful to you like it is for me. In helping you in this thread is has allowed me to cement the information more fully in my mind too. So thank you.
Hoping this finds you well.
kp
Quote:
Originally Posted by June_Bug
Thank you KP ((( Hugs ))) for taking the time to read through my example and trying to insert the definition of Acceptance. With my dissociative disorder and having history of being denied reality from my family of origin (through crazy making), it's real hard to trust what I perceive as real or reality. However, I do have the bruises and broken eggs to cement myself into the fact that it really did happen.
So, to quote you "In turning the mind with a Commitment to Accept" has been applied here because of the broken eggs and bruises. I'm not accepting what my neighbors did to me, I am accepting the reality of what happened and with this acceptance, I am taking action to care for myself. I am focusing on myself and not retaliation. Is this correct?
I'm sorry, I have a learning disability I struggle with, especially with new skills.
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