I've always been unfailingly polite and courteous since day 1 because that's my nature and how I was brought up...it's innate and I can't help that. If someone's nice, that's good enough for me and I return the kindness. If T ever calls and asks if I can change the time of our next appointment I usually say OK without a second thought. A few years ago T shared with me that she had lost her mother and would have to re-schedule; I sent her a sympathy card. Things like that.

However, after pleasantries are exchanged, I try very hard to really spill it all out and not hold back, including the frequent use of profanity and saying how I actually "hate" some people in my life and the parts of myself that I truly despise. I don't have to be all nicey-nice in therapy, that's not what it's for.