breathe... in and out.... I'm the type of person who has to tell myself sometimes that .. "nothing is as bad as it feels.." Yes, this is difficult for you but, maybe you have to tell yourself that too... if you can't get yourself to stop belieiving that your T will react in a way you won't like, at least you can try to guide yourself into a more realistic approach, because the only thing fear does is set us off into this place where we think of the absolute worst scenarios like, "oh my gosh, T will hate me" .. Now think, real quick,... "" T said he didn't hate me.. so Yes, maybe this will be uncomfortable but, he probably won't hate me." you just have to get yourself to realize that even if this does, indeed, feel terrifying... "its not as bad as you feel it will be" Think of all the other times you we're worried before session,? did things really turn out as terrible as you thought they would? Maybe sessions were'nt how you wanted them to be but, did it end up turning out as terrible as you felt that it would? I hope not, cus, yes, some of those moments we're tough for me but, they weren't as tough as I thought they would be. hope this makes sense, cus' I've used that to calm myself down lately.