Quote:
Originally Posted by lago24
I would like to go somewhere to re-kindle but I am not sure thats what she is looking for. She was a very independent person before we met and she said she misses the freedom and feeling of being hit on. She isnt even sure if she needs to have sex with someone right now, but she doesnt like the idea of being with just me for the next 50 years.
Not sure we ever really addressed monogamy before we were married. I guess it was just assumed.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hanners
I've been in an open relationship with my partner for almost 4 years. Neither of us really believe monogamy is necessary for a successful relationship. For some people monogamy works best, and for others it doesn't. Some people work better within an open or polyamorous relationship, like myself and my partner.
If you want to learn how to build a successful open relationship, I highly recommend reading this book cover to cover (and maybe have your wife do the same, so you're on the same page, so to speak):
http://www.amazon.com/Opening-Up-Cre...9211397&sr=8-1
And remember, there's no one "right way" to have an open relationship... but there's definitely a wrong way! Honesty and communication are absolutely crucial to a successful open relationship. I know I can trust my partner more because he is honest to me about who else he sees (and likewise, my partner trusts me because I am honest with him about who I see). |
Quote:
Originally Posted by lynn P.
lago24 - in order for a polyamorous relationship to work...both partners need to be prepared to relinquish all jealousy and possessiveness. Ideally both partners know ahead of time before making a committment with each other. If you're not willing to do this, then it's not really fair for your wife to spring this on you. If you not willing to go with this, then you should make it clear this isn't for you. If you both end up leading this lifestyle, make sure you practice safe sex and be honest with the people you get involved with. If this whole idea of your wife being with another man instills a fire in you, then this definitely won't work and you should speak up.
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I don't see anything wrong with an open relationship, but agree with Lynn that you need to go into one with both partners already being willing or both partners wanting to try it out.
It does sound like you'd try it to save your marriage but do you really think in your core of yourself, that having an open relationship and basically sharing, is what you want to do?
Maybe a couples counselor could help you talk about this?