You sound good and sure of your decision. What a relief for you. Stay strong!!
I know it's gotta be tough cause you want to help him but he really can only help himself. They say people like that have to hit rock bottom before they can find there way up. Maybe he just has to hit his. It's hard to watch people suffer while they get there but it's the only real way to help.
I am so glad you didn't lose control when he flipped on you. I have a brother who is extremely controling. We met one nite for dinner so I could tell him I was moving to Norway. Before I told him he was telling me his angle on the key to munipulating people. It freaked me out. He has it down to a science. We hadn't gotten along very well in our adult lives and we fought alot. He pushed my buttons and got me worked up or told me I didn't know what I was talking about. Any way he could to degrade me. We didn't talk for a couple years but a situation had him living at my house for a year and we got along pretty good. I enjoyed the time getting to know him and realized we had alot of common interests and common beliefs. Then when I told him I wa moving he started in about me about getting married again, what was I thinking etc. I didn't fold and didn't get irritated. Then he pulled out the big guns and said that time living with me was hell and there were so many things he wanted to say but didn't and that I was an idiot. HI still didn't take his bait. Then went after me bringing up the past issue that stopped us talking for years and I finally said, "I just wanted to have dinner with you and I don't understand why you are doing this." I walked away. I went to say bye when I came to Norway for the summer. He went after me again. I walked away. didn't say a word, just walked away. I saw him 4 months later when I got back form Norway and stopped in to say hi. He told me what a worthless human being I was. I walked away again. He never came to the family gathering to wish me well the weekend before I moved. I saw him this last spring at a family thing but it was fine. His girlfriend was there and the family so he couldn't say anything. I didn't actually talk to him.
I finally realized that the reason he treats me the way he does is a way for him to control me. The things he says aren't true. Then I realized I really don't like him either. Of course I will always care about him because he is my brother but he is not my friend and the only thing that holds us is blood. I don't miss him because there is nothing good to miss. I wish him the best in life. I feel sorry for him. I hope he can find a way to heal. The thing is, he isn't someone I need in my life and I am not responsible for him or his actions towards me. I know it killed him when I walked away but he also learned that his ******** doesn't affect me. He stopped.
Now I should...getting long!!
Wishing you the best in your new calmer life. You deserve it!!
Heidu