I know you wrote this with the best of intentions ladyjrnlist and all couples can benefit with spicing up their partnership. Unfortunately I don't think this is the OP's problem and it won't fix this problem. His wife wants another man and no amount of spicing up, will deter those feelings.

I know how this poster feels and I toyed with this idea of trying to win back or be the more seductive one, but I refused to do it. I decided I wouldn't lower myself to thinking, I was somehow inadequate and that's why my partner chose someone else. I wasn't about to behave like a woman on the bachelor show in a competition for a man. No amount of wild sex will take away the notion that she wants other men.