I know how you feel. Have you tried keeping a journal of your thoughts? Writing or typing thoughts are a way to release. Also, writing things down to talk to your shrink about. I know what you mean of trying to find that balance between thinking positive all the time or thinking negative. I have a shirt that says "I can't change yesterday, but I can sure mess up today". I am glad you are determined to finish college. I quit after 2 years the first time and I went back almost 20 years later and got my degree. I don't know if this helps any. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone.