Today was a little different because I've got my family visiting so I've had to be in adult "mode". T wanted to do more EMDR about my brother and the matches, but we didn't. It was funny; she wanted me to light a match and then a candle she always has in her office. The match was a long one, so that was easy. I said I couldn't light the candle because I was afraid the fire would go down the match. She actually thought last session would have cured me! She really believes in EMDR, more than I do.

We ended up just talking about my brother and about my feelings of powerlessness regarding him, and in general. I wasn't expecting to talk about that today. It's important, though. How I can't handle financial matters and I get overwhelmed and feel powerless.

When there was half an hour left she said I have that "look" on my face. She knows me by now! I needed to talk about our relationship a little. A child part was upset when I tried to reschedule my appointment this week and she wrote "I'm totally full Wednesday". That part wanted to have a temper tantrum because she doesn't want my T to see anyone but me! But I got over that by myself and she thought wasw progress!

We talked about what sunrise posted to me about being close to her T even though they don't talk about their relationship. She said that was true. She doesn't disappear. That was my comment that she doesn't disappear; we still have our close relationship no matter what we talk about, and she still cares about me.

I brought my old diary, started when I was 8 1/2. T was amazed by it and wants me to bring it again! I read some entries to her and she looked at some of them. She thinks my daughters would be interested in it but I think they're too busy. I liked sharing it with my T very, very much! I didn't write much about feelings; it's more factual, but there is some about my crushes and some about my fears as well as trials and tribulations of growing up. I enjoy reading what I wrote when I was young, and my T thinks it's interesting for our work. I'm glad I brought it today.