I hate more than anything to mess up since I'm a perfectionist at heart. I luv being successful at recovery rather its not cutting/ or me going thru my Ana/Mia cycles I hate the fact that I can't control my emotions or I let things get to me to the point of hurting myself. I wonder if at times is it worth to fight to try to stop because failure feels worst than when I actually harm myself I know sounds backwards but that's how I feel. Just feel like giving up