Don't give up!!! Its hard to give up our coping skills, it takes along time to retrain the brain. Its good that you feel disappointment in yourself, when you do it because it means you really want to stop but it takes time. I have stopped for 2 years. It took me along time to get where i am at now but I haven't had counseling for it, so I still have the desire to harm myself but I fight to not. One day you will look back at yourself and say WOW I did it!! Don't be so hard on yourself, it takes time. Be safe and take care.