A breakthrough? I don't know, isn't everyone afraid of rejection? For me, it must be tenfold, because it was what he called the final straw to my stress level--the one that caused me to want to just give up. It's funny that I admit that now. So lately, trust seems to be my Achilles heel. I don't want to get close to anyone; I'm honestly afraid. Every single time I allow myself to get close to someone (whether it's a guy or girl friend), the very minute I perceive them to be my "best" (say or even think the word), I get screwed over.
"Sure I care about you; that is why we can't talk anymore. You need time to heal physically and emotionally."
"I want to help, but I can't give you the time and devotion you need."
"I'll say one thing, but I'll mean another; and when you aren't around, I'll laugh at you (not with you) behind your back."
"I wouldn't trust me with your secrets; I'm only going to repeat them."
"I am not giving up on the friendship. I am giving you the space you need; true friends will be there in the end."
IT'S ALL BS. And it's my fault. Because I believe that all of my friendships/relationships will end badly, my prophecy will be self-fulfilling. Are you serious? And I cry harder.
And the therapist wants to know how that makes me feel? I feel HURT. How else should I feel? I feel HURT.