As we're growing up, we have to practice getting to know others, especially those of the opposite sex. It isn't something we have experience with? So, it's always awkward for a bit like learning any new skill is. If we have not done a lot of hugging, hugging someone else is a new skill and if we have not been around hugging, knowing who, when, how, etc. can be hard to learn! Other people have their own ideas and knowledge; it can be hard being with someone who knows how and enjoys hugging when our style might be more reserved or less knowledgeable!

I try to "match" other people, get my cues from what they do/want but that's not always right, I need to pay more attention to what I'm feeling/want and make that clear. There's nothing right/wrong with going slowly or not being a big hugger, etc. But one does have to think about how you would like to develop, whether you'd like to become a fond hugger or huggee and, if so, how to go about practicing so you can become that. It is very necessary to pay attention to other people's signs, whether they would like you to hug them, etc. and all that is a lot to learn and takes keen powers of observation and understanding/getting to know the other person.

Do not worry so much about hurting another; the other person is supposed to be in charge of themselves and knowing what they want/don't want and how to take care of themselves if they feel disappointment. Just do not "lie" about yourself and what you want; do not hug with seeming abandon and then pull back later! Our feelings are our own, not "caused" by the other person but they come up based on our own experiences (which are always in the past), thoughts and fears (stay away from fear and worry as best you can, they are usually based in the future which can't be known. Being afraid you are going to hurt the boy can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you do not stay in the present and present yourself honestly).