It does not sound like you have a lot of experience with love and romantic relationships. It is something one has to learn and deal with; most people have a couple of loving relationships before they find their mate. The stories of one's "first" love and how one always remembers them are legendary. I remember my first love (don't "love" him anymore, now that I have had my husband for 25-30 years :-) and how miserable I was when he broke off with me.

We can't find a "right" mate unless we "search" through several people who might be right or what would we have to compare to? When doing prosaic shopping, you still don't just pick the first item you see, you sort through the fruits and vegetables, looking for the items that meet your approval. When looking at houses to buy, you look at many until you find one that meets most of your criteria. Sometimes there are a couple that you like and you have to choose between them. Meeting and getting together with people, friends and lovers both, is like that too. There will be other women for you to get to know!

I did not start "dating" until my late 20's and did not marry until I was 39. My husband and I are good friends but lovers also; I don't know that you can judge your parents relationship with one another just from what they show you/you observe Are you in their bedroom at night? Are you with them always? That they are friends is good. Whether or not they are demonstrative with one another, especially in "public" is basied on personal preference. I don't think arranged marriages do particularly worse than those based on "love" or sex or any other criteria.