Some of you might know my extremely odd marriage situation. In a nutshell, after 25 yrs of marriage my husband made the decision to marry another woman(in a religious sense). This happened in 2006 - 5 fricken yrs ago. He refused to leave me or divorce me and I don't have the means to support myself. He made it clear it would be ugly if I pushed for divorce. So we've been living in the same house but separate rooms. We stopped having relations in 2006, when I found about this other woman. ATM I don't even know if she's still in the picture or not. Communication is basically minimal and on the surface - kind of like how you are to a relative you don't like but half to tolerate.

Now to bounce to another topic - prostate problems run in his family. His father had prostate cancer. He's been having prostate problems for 7 yrs now and has to take pills to keep the inflammation down. So one day when I'm driving him to work(other car was under repair) he starts sharing with me - how if he doesn't take the pill, he can't unrinate etc and wondering if this is what affects his libido and erection problems. Can anyone understand why this would bother ME...grrrrrrrr. To me, this is twisting the knife that he put in my back 5 yrs ago. Does he not think how he would feel if I started talking about myself in this regard? I just sat there in disbelief and said -" that's too bad" and then looked out the window.

I try to live my life and not pay attention to the poka dotted elephant in the room. I'm able to remain civil and even show kindness. It's like I'm waiting for the years to pass until my girls are old enough to survive on their own, so I can get the hell out. I don't expect anyone to give me a solution because there isn't one. I just needed to vent.