You are not alone and I fully know the pain. I was married 24 years with money issues despite him being a lawyer part of that time. He finally landed a contract job in the Middle East that paid $160,000 and that is when HE wanted a divorce. Whole other story. I loved him but found out all that unhappiness and disappointment in him as a partner and provider turned into the divorce being a relief after all was said and done. What I thought was love was really just emotional security thinking I was being loved by him. Anyway, I understand your frustrations and you probably can't afford financial counseling or marriage counseling in your situation so that is stressful too. I think if you truly still have that romantic love bond with each other you should sit down together at the table and go through each bill with your money and checkbook. It's so easy if you have autowithdrawal or do it online not to keep track of the balances and what is coming up. Go back to paper look at what will come out and be left. If you want to move out then do that, it might be the best way to see how you both feel. I spent years thinking and being told we would get out of debt, managing all the finances but taxes,only to always be surprised by another bill I didn't know about, or taxes that weren't filed despite me signing them. This was probably no help to you but you do have people who understand and have been there, and you deserve to live your life with or without him in financial peace; and you can make it happen so don't give up!